Why don’t I like Coldplay? An investigation.

Another fantastic piece from Sasha Frere-Jones: pop-music critic for the New Yorker. As Coldplay has a new album coming out called Mylo Xyloto, this piece is a perfectly unscientific look into why Coldplay just shouldn’t be.

5. U2. -346

Seven out of ten times, Coldplay sound almost exactly like U2—the U2 that exists now, not the wiry, feral U2 of 1980 (which would be a decent idea). U2 have not broken up. This is inefficient. Coldplay should consider copying Big Star or The Monkees.

(via The New Yorker)

Update: Pitchfork has interviewed Chris Martin. I repeat: Pitchfork has interviewed Chris Martin. This reminds me of when Pitchfork interviewed U2 after giving “No Line on the Horizon” a 4.2. Both come off as massively successful musicians giving interviews like they genuinely wish that this blog – that consistently pans their current output – loved them like it loves Arcade Fire or M83.